Wednesday, April 18, 2007

My Gripe

There are times I struggle with how much more can I take. I mean honestly, here I am enrolling my little guy in school, sports, extra-curricular activities, etc. Here I am taking him to school, sports, and all those other extra-curricular activities. Here I am paying for school, sports, and every extra-curricular activity. And the poor little guy has no idea that his father does not help out at all except for the required child support that is garnished from his paycheck to meet daily living needs.

14 comments:

Deepak Gopi said...

All the best to him
good day :)

Art said...

I have no experience in this type of thing but, for what it's worth, I would tell him about the situation - but in a VERY gentle, general, non-accusatorial way.

I hope it works out well for you both!

Lee said...

I think I agree with Art. Both in the advice and the best wishes.

Kate said...

that's often the case. but here's to you being a great mom.

Sicilian said...

Fly Girl. . . . in your own way you are still covering for his dad. . . . I know because I did it and my kids were lots older. When I finally got to the point where I was worn out and tired of being broke. . . . I finally would say. . . your dad will have to help with that or ask your dad because I can't do it.
You have a couple of choices. . . . keep on with it all for the sake of your son or stop and do only what you can. Put some responsibility on the dad for some of that stuff.
The good news is. . . . your son knows you are doing it all. . . .
Ciao

HLiza said...

Life is unfair. I hope your little man will always remember your sacrifice, BFG. Being a mom, we always want the best for our kids and that means pain in the pocket and in the heart too. Just be strong dear..believe me you're doing the best for him. As for the father, what goes round will come around.

Sue said...

Hi, just catching up. Looks like I caught you on a rant!

Sue

Lacey said...

Life is unfair isn't it? He will understand when he's older. Best of luck to both of you in all your extra-curricular activities.

Sober Chick said...

Is why you are a wonderful loving mom. How many blessings are in that for your little man.

DayByDay4-2Day said...

I hear this from every single mother.
It doesn't matter that he doesn't know, because what he does know is that his mother loves him, does things for him , and take the time to taek him to these places.

Stop worrying about what he doesn't know and put more thought into the facts that he sees.

Eduardo said...

'flygirl,

Being the custodial parent has its perks! This is so common. At some point you have to be able to say No. No, to the extras. No, to the financial strains.

I'll be the first to say it sucks, but your son will be better for understanding that not everything is doable and not everything is affordable.

Now, for the icky parts... At least part of your regret, I'm willing to bet, is due to the fact that some part of you wants to be Uber Mom to make up for Dad. Bad news is that you can't. No one can.

Like it or not, you can just be Mom. Plain old Mom -- full of "no" and "I don't think so". I wish there were another way, but you'll find as the years pass by that just being plain old Mom is hard enough when you are by yourself, that being Uber Mom is out of the question.

Give yourself a break. You do absolutely deserve it. Your son can handle quite a bit more than you think he can.

Eduardo said...

Another thing.

The money you do or do not get from his Dad is an adult issue. When he is an adult he can get all the facts. Until then, file this under the tab that says, "Grown Ups".

It will mean biting your tongue. It will also mean some baseless accusations when he is a bit older.

LADY LUXIE said...

You are a great mommy...and all these you are doing to your boy will bear fruit...


Relax...rest and do have lots of time with friends...I will whisper blessings to you later in the day...

I big warm hug to you:>

Pato & Pearl said...

You're such a good mum providing to your little kid..I'm sure he'll grow up to be a responsible guy and he may not understand now but hopefully he'll appreciates what you have done for him..

All the best!

Pearl