Life is never what we plan. It is His plan and so often we forget. It takes the faith of a believer to be blessed. On that thought I'll continue about me...
I was not really sure what I wanted to do in my life. I go to the local college and major in elementary education. I also added on an endorsement for English as a second language. As I am in college, I meet my soon-to-be husband through my at the time boyfriend. Let me say a boyfriend who was on the way out after four years together. I couldn't be happier in my life. 23, marrying a man that has a J-O-B, plus I will be living in a house. He will be paying all of the bills, etc, etc, etc.
Unable to find a job as a regular ed teacher, a position I interview for leads to a different type of job-special ed. I accept the job having no idea what I have gotten myself into, plus I never wanted to teach special education. I go back to school and within 18 months, I take 24 credit hours and earn a minor in special education, oh, and I have a baby. I earn my Master's degree before my son is 3 and I start taking classes for my administration license, but stop due to stress of my personal life.
The new love of my life is of course my son. I enjoyed being pregnant, shopping for maturity clothes (shop-a-holic, remember), and well I had a very good pregnancy as well as delivery. My parents say that my ex couldn't handle the fact that I needed to pay more attention to someone else. Yeah, they are probably right about that, but there is a bigger picture. Not knowing the precise point, moment, or occurrence of the breakdown of a relationship can be disturbing, especially when someone doesn't communicate. So, there was a problem. That is in the past, I can not dwell on it, I need to move forward. If I was not a forgiving person I would just hold onto anger inside and that would lead to bitterness.
I say it was the seven year itch, and of course Satan had something to do with it. That's when reality hit me. My son was born 5 years after I was married. I miscarried 5 months later (there was a reason). Everything after that is pretty much a blur. We get so caught up in our lives, changes happen, and we either adapt, or see the highway. In my case it was another family that needed a male figure as a model. So he felt needed and loved, etc, etc, etc. Enough was enough. Eight years after being married I filed for separation so that he could open his eyes-however, in turn, he filed for divorce. He wanted me to be the bad guy and make the first move. He bears no humility and that is such a shame.
I not only lost a husband, but a man who had been part of my life for 12 years. I lost a whole other family-people who no longer speak to me anymore. I lost friends, acquaintances, and neighbors. My son lost the "normalcy" of a family. All I could think of was being a statistic. You see it was so hard for me to make a decision like that. Being brought up Catholic, you do not get a divorce-do not, or else you are going to hell-you shame the family. My family support was minimal at first. My friends were the only ones there for me to get my through this ordeal. But that all changed.